


Fuck Evan Hansen

by CheshireCharmander



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-18 11:41:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11290008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheshireCharmander/pseuds/CheshireCharmander
Summary: Evan overhears something hes not supposed to.  But did he get the whole story?





	Fuck Evan Hansen

**Author's Note:**

> Someone changed their name to Fuck Evan Hansen on the Kleinsen Discord and I wrote this as a result... I hope you like it!

Jared stared down the hall at Evan’s retreating form, wondering how the hell he’d let himself get to this point again. He swore that after they finally made up he wouldn’t let them be torn apart again. He was back where he started, watching Evan as he fled from Jared, his eyes filled with tears just about ready to spill out. Jared turned quickly and punched the locker to his right, “Fuck!”

***

He stared blankly at the wall, watching the clock slowly tick to the end of the period. His leg shook like a jackhammer under the table, urging the teacher to hurry up. He could feel Evan practically vibrating next to him. Their legs touched under the table and Jared could feel his face practically burning from the contact.  
Jared sighed internally, turning his head to the side to watch Evan. Evan was staring ahead, he appeared to be actually listening to the teacher’s rambling about who knows what. His beautiful stormy blue eyes were alight and his hands were fidgeting with the fidget cube that Jared had got him last week - even though he had pretended it wasn’t for Evan. Evan’s lip was drawn between his teeth in a way that looked painful, Jared wished that he could occupy Evan’s lips with his own instead. After a moment, Jared’s thoughts caught up with him and his face turned bright red. Unfortunately for him, that was the moment that Evan choose to look back at him. He quickly put his head between his arms in the hopes that Evan wouldn’t see his blush.  
“Jared-” Evan was quickly cut off as the bell rang and Jared sprung from his seat and out of the room before Evan could finish.  
Jared was all the way at his locker by the time he'd stopped running. When he stopped, he was gasping for breath and his face was still bright red, replaying his mind’s torturous daydream over in his head. His shoulders drooped and he opened his locker - number 1340 - slowly starting to unload and reload his books.  
He takes out the blue biology binder, and tries not to think about how much it’s colors look like the stripes on Evan’s shirts. The same striped shirts that he wears every day, they are burned into Jared’s memory. When he looks around he see’s them everyday, even more of a constant in his life than anything else, and in his dreams too. They follow him everywhere. No, he can’t allow himself to think about how similar those colors are.  
Next, he takes out the english notebook. He tries not to allow his mind to dwell on how the doodles on the cover were a group effort. He doesn’t think about how those doodles will stay there forever and how close Evan’s face was to his while they worked. He doesn’t allow himself to feel sad when he thinks about how they’ll probably never be that close again, how he’ll never see the flecks in Evan’s eyes again.  
He slowly pulled the history binder out of his locker, trying to push his memories out of his mind. He tried not to think about the one time when he dropped the binder and when they reached for it at the same time, he could feel the sparks as their hands touched. And how, when he pulled back like he was burned causing him to fall back on his ass, he looked up to see the look of hurt that fell over Evan’s face. All he wanted to do when he saw that was to reach up and kiss him until it fell away, until Evan couldn’t think of anything else but his lips. But he didn’t, instead he laughed and when he got home that night, his thoughts played on repeat and he was drowning in his love for Evan.  
Jared pulled himself to a standing position, his eyes half shut, replaying the fantasies that he only allows himself to hope for in his dreams. His eyes shut fully as he allowed himself to get pulled into the dream, and mumbled to himself, “I would give anything to fuck Evan Hansen.”  
He heard a muffled noise to his right and his eyes snapped open. His head turned so fast he got whiplash. Standing right next to him, staring wide eyed, with hands over his mouth, was Evan Hansen. Fuck. There were a few moments where the two just stared at each other. Evan’s eyes began to well up as they stared at each other and the moment one fell the spell broke. The noise from the others in the hallway fell back around them and Evan rushed past him before he could talk. All he could do was stare helplessly at his best friends retreating form and think back on how he told himself he wouldn’t let it get to this point again.

***

Jared continued on with his day, he went through all his classes. However all he wanted to do was to leave and find Evan. He spent every class watching out the window as the thunderstorm rolled in and the rain began to pour down. He didn’t dwell on how he didn’t have umbrella, only how Evan had mentioned that he didn’t have one earlier. Evan was all he thought about all the time but that day especially, everything else was background noise. At one point, Alana and Zoe had tried to include him in their conversation but he couldn’t hear them. He just kept staring out the window blankly.  
The moment the final bell rang he sprang out of his seat and bolted out of the front doors and into the rain. There was only one place that Evan would be and he had to get there. He ran as fast as he could, feeling the rain pelt against his body and soaking him through to his bones. However, he could barely feel the water, all he was focused on was Evan. Nothing else mattered.  
He stopped at the entrance to the park, looking around. After a moment, he forced himself to keep going. He saw the leaves begin to peek out from the edge of the horizon and he knew he was almost there.  
The tallest tree in the park, Evan’s favorite place. Evan had told him about it once, his eyes alight and his body jumpy and jittery as he practically glowed. Jared hadn’t been particularly interested in what he was saying about the tree - something about the age and its importance to the ecosystem - but he loved watching Evan’s excitement.  
Jared was almost to the base of the tree now, he could feel his lungs burning in protest but he could see a small form hunched over at the base of the tree. He couldn’t stop now. He forced himself to keep going till he reached the base.  
“Evan!” he called out and Evan looked up towards the source of the noise.  
“J-Jared,” he rubbed uselessly at his eyes, trying to wipe away the tears. He was soaked through to the bone, even more so than Jared was, Jared really wanted to give him a hug. “What are you d-doing here Jared?”  
“I was worried,” it wasn’t entirely a lie but it wan’t really the truth either, “Its raining really hard, I wanted to be sure you were okay.”  
Evan turned away from him and he mumbled out a response, “You can see that I’m fine now. You don’t have to stay here.”  
Jared reached out, letting his hand hang there, halfway between the two of them. He could see Evan pulled into himself and Jared sighed, allowing his hand to fall completely to his side. He took a step forward, “Evan I-”  
“Just leave Jared!” Evan’s voice rang around the park, the rain the only other sound that answered.  
“Ev-”  
Just leave,” his voice was soft, broken. He let out a few shaky breaths before continuing in a tone almost completely drowned out by the rain, “I heard what you said… Fuck Evan Hansen right… Well you don't have to pretend to like me anymore, I know how you feel,” Jared opened his mouth to interject but Evan cut him off again, rising to his feet and turning to shout at him, “Why do you always have to fuck with me like this?! I don’t understand, I finally moved on from you and you dragged me back and then you never liked me… Why?! What did I do to deserve this?”  
“Evan,” Jared stopped himself, admitting to what he had said would be admitting to his crush. Could he really take that? He took in the sight of Evan, fists balled up and eyes clenched shut, and made his decision.  
Evan released the tension in his body, allowing his eyes to fall open, although they stayed glued to the ground, “Jared, please, I need to know…”  
“I-” Jared took a shaky breath and prepared himself to admit what had happened, “I didn't say that.”  
Evan’s eyes snapped up to Jared’s face, “What- but, but I heard-”  
“Look I, thats not exactly what I said, you… didn’t hear the whole thing,” Jared’s fists balled up on his sides, “I said I want to fuck Evan Hansen.”  
Evan’s face turned bright red, “Y-you, Jared why would you say that?!”  
Jared let his eyes fall to the ground, he stared at the ground next to him, “Because I have a huge crush on you, and,” he in took breath quickly, “andIthinkaboutdoingthingslikethatalotwithyou.”  
Evan blinked, processing Jared’s words, “You, you like me?”Jared nodded wordlessly.  
Evan’s mouth tilted up into a smile and he stepped closer to Jared, hooking a hand under Jared’s chin and forcing him to meet Evan’s eyes, “Hey Jared?”  
“E-Evan,” Jared could see all the little flecks in Evan’s eyes and he could count the freckles that dotted his face.  
Evan closed his eyes and leaned in. Jared felt Evan’s breath on his lips when he exhaled and the movement and he spoke into Jared’s mouth, “I think about doing things like that with you too.”  
Jared’s eyes widened as Evan closed the distance and connected their lips. He let them fall shut as he felt the sparks that he’d felt when their hands first touched on that binder. It was perfect, albeit a bit wet. The rain still poured down around them, but they stood silently in the rain, kissing like their lives depended on it.  
When he finally had to pull back, he allowed his eyes to raise slowly. He was greeted with the most beautiful sight. Evan was staring back at him, his eyes half lidded. He looked completely taken with Jared. Jared felt is heart skip a beat.  
“Jared,” Evan’s voice was soft and all Jared could think was how much he wanted to wake up next to him every day.  
“Yeah Evan?”  
“I love you.”  
Jared hummed in response, leaning in to rest his head on Evan’s neck.  
“Will you go out with me?”  
Jared smiled into Evan’s neck, raising his arms to pull Evan into a tight hug, “Of course you dork.”  
Evan just turned his head towards the sky and smiled to himself, “We should probably get out of the rain.”  
“Fuck you’re right!” Evan burst out laughing and Jared took his hand and they took off running towards Evan’s house, both knowing they’d probably be home with a cold tomorrow. But neither of them really minded.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on tumblr at sincerely-meme! I love kleinsen and I love would love to talk to people and I draw a lot too!


End file.
